The Arrogant Leader

Have you ever felt a deep need for external recognition? Perhaps you've had imposter syndrome or inner critic thoughts as you looked around the room wondering if you belonged or were good enough? If yes, then congratulations, you have experienced being an Arrogant Leader...sigh as have I, currently my Arrogant Leadership is showing up in my writing; my need to be recognized by the external 'powers that be' who can validate my brilliance to a world that mostly doesn't know my name...

The root of arrogance is owlways insecurity. Your comparison of self to others, that is your ego acting arrogant as ever, putting people on pedestals, sometimes yourself included! The opposite of arrogance of course is humility, and here is the kicker, the truly humble do not even mind being called arrogant! Contemplate that thought for a few seconds...I know it took me a minute to fully digest that concept of humility introduced by Richard Rudd in the Gene Keys book, Embracing Your Higher Purpose.

Humility is not something you do, rather it is whooo you be, fully secure in yourself without a need for external recognition. I have a few leadership stories I like to share when I first introduce this concept to my clients, this powerful reframe that alters you at a cellular level and says goodbye to that arrogant imposter, once and for owl, but before I dive in, I want to clarify what leadership is:

Leadership is the gift of de-programming unhealthy programs by speaking authentic truth at the right time.

This is the magic of working with me and your birth charts. Authentic truth will resonate in your bones. Corporate calls this feedback, and if you check out my Gene Keys Star Pearl, you will see that I am a literal authority in giving feedback (21.2).

A true leader is a voice for the collective heart and must learn to courageously speak from this deeper wellspring of truth; to be a Humble Leader is to have no agenda.

I mean this with owl the love, I do not have an agenda for you--no desires or longings for you as I hear many other coaches do for their clients--whooo am I to undermine your destiny?! And yet, i would not be truly honest if I did not share my soul's hidden agendas for our work together--freedom and liberation from the trappings of your own mind! I want to teach you to breathe differently so you can see things from your authentic, regulated nervous system perspective, and I am here to give you language that liberates you from patterns that keep you a victim of your own circumstances.

Most leadership programs and books out there are built upon a foundation of arrogance, all rooted in the belief that intellect alone can make you a better leader, i.e. the right way to give feedback, the personality type that needs to just tweak their weaknesses. That isn't leadership, that is Arrogant Leadership, and until you embrace your own arrogance, you must accept that you are, in fact, an arrogant leader....

Notice the part of you that cringes when you think about your own arrogance...I feel it right in the pit of my belly. It has held me back from writing for over a year...and so I have come to learn to embrace this feeling of arrogance by loving this part of myself. But first, I had to allow that this was in fact, a part of myself, the final frontier if you will, on where I have yet to accept and embrace my own arrogant patterns.

That is all that arrogance is at the end of the day, a pattern that makes your brain feel safe. When we cease to identify with it as a personality trait, and work with it as the pattern it is, a simple "I Love You Katie," spoken out loud whenever that pattern shows up to play creates a new pattern of security and internal recognition rooted in the unconditional love every inner child requires.

It turns out breaking a pattern also looks a lot like a self-discipline of love, a love for myself so deep that I chose to lock myself out of looking at social media apps so I could continue channeling this written message for the collective today (that's you, "you" are the collective "we"), so shout out to Ashley Peterson for being the evolution my brain needed, while my heart provided the involution required to break through the pattern permanently. I humbly recognize leaders are here to evolve through others as much as they are here to involve themselves in their own involution process.

Think about the most arrogant leader you know, (perhaps it is even you!:). Notice your breathing pattern as you contemplate this arrogant leader from your past...my breathing gets much shallower, almost as if I can feel the anger rising to my throat wanting to speak the truth into the ether...story time!

I worked for a leader that gave me feedback around being "more humble and asking less questions" and a cross-functional team member who's feedback was "communications were sloppy and not well executed." The truth was, revenue was up 40% with those communications, after being down year over year for 2 years, and those questions I asked were poking holes in the arrogant cross-functional team member...my mentor at the time said, "fuck 'em, these are facts," and my coach said, "maybe they are just assholes..." and my Arrogant Inner Leader said, Nope, it must be me and something I can change, there must be a book and a course for that...

It's funny how that story above is how and why I signed up for coach training and for the Co-Active Leadership program, and several other leadership programs, webinars, and hundreds of dollars in books. The Arrogant Leader seeks self-improvement outside of itself, even when it is on a quest for humility. That's right, my own arrogance led me on the perfect path of leadership, right into the heart of a humbling that would forever change me as a leader at a cellular level.

When viewed from this perspective, alchemy is performed, turning arrogance into a required path to becoming a truly humble leader; free from hidden agendas and the intellectual trappings of the mind. I thought I was being humble by accepting their feedback and attempting to apply it, but instead I was denying the truth, and two years later the business closed as a result (arguably), of firing the only person in the room with real business acumen. But I digress, back to the leadership quest for self-improvement that led me to simply accepting my own arrogance of wanting people to like me. Acceptance is the closing of a cycle...embracing the arrogance, that is how you create alchemy, transmuting the arrogance into the gift of leadership and humility.

Arrogance, authenticity, and audacity walk a fine line together, while humility hums quietly in the corner waiting patiently to be recognized. Truth-telling is never arrogant, and yet being humble also means letting others believe their own truth. This is the paradox of life and its lessons.

Where does your own arrogance hold you back from being authentic? If you were not so busy being arrogant, where might you bring more audacity into your life? More importantly, whooo is soaring alongside you supporting your evolution, and is it me...Give a hoot an hit me up for a free discovery call and lets make magic together!

The arrogant Queen looks down at the Pawn.